The London Zoo (End)

… an Ursidae statikós stood in her way.

To bring to an end this series about the creatures (and plants, as you will be able to read below) that populate the London Underground, we’ll focus on the actual train today. If you want to read about the specimens that populate the escalators click here, or alternatively you can read about the ones that roam around on the platforms here.

(affects David Attenborough’s voice)

The Tube is a fascinating micro-representation of Darwin’s landmark scientific work ‘The Origin of the Species’. Once the train doors close (and provided there’s no Delphinidae vīvāx around to stop them from doing so), the struggle for survival ensues.

Taking centre stage — literally — we have the first specimen: the Gorgo Lavatera Hūmānus. As the name indicates this is a flowering plant. But do not be fooled by its appearance. Passengers that dare to cross a GLH, are turned to stone and will miss their stop. (squats) Watch! (whispers) These are the roots of the human lavatera. They are so strong that when trains are taken to the depot at the end of their journey, extra staff are usually called to deal with these underground organs. What does the Gorgo Lavatera Hūmānus do? It boards the train and regardless of the amount of people in it, it heads for the pole in the middle of the carriage and grabs hold of it. There it…