Thanks for the review. I found it helpful.
One thing I would say, though, is that many writers are obsessed with the length of their sentences. Please, fret not, there was a time (not so long ago, not even a hundred years ago) when the English language was made up of beautiful long sentences, connected by subordinate clauses. It was writers such as Mailer. Kerouac and Hemingway who broke the tradition. But there are still writers around who write long, easy-to-understand sentences. :-)