Me: Forgive me Father for I have sinned.

God (appearing from behind): Really? What have you done?

Me: Ahhhh! Core blimey, mate, you scared the beejesus out of me? What are you doing here?

God: I thought you wanted to have the real McCoy.

Me: I… erm… I… erm… yes… I think that… it’s OK, well, since you’re here, yes, of course, I mean, you’re the top guy, aren’t you? You’re Herr Commander, you’re the one who calls the shots, so if I’m going to confess my sins, better to do it to you than to some perv…