I agree with you almost on everything. I read Lolita many years ago. I knew about the reputation surrounding Nabokov and the much-maligned fame the book had gained. To me, Nabokov turns the lenses on us. Like a thriller in which the villain is a flawed person and we're forced to see his imperfections as well as his virtues, Humbert Humbert is a parodical invention to ridicule our lofty morals. How different is Nabokov's Humbert Humbert from the British rag The Sun, for instance, which counted down the months, weeks and days until Charlotte Church turned 18 and was therefore an adult? The attention the young Charlotte got then from lascivious tabloid editors was similar to the attention Lolita got from her captor. Neither situation is excusable, but one is still fiction, whereas the other one played out in real life.
Excellent analysis, by the way. :-)