Diary of a Separation (the pros and cons of splitting up)

Wednesday 22nd August 2018

The upside of a separation is meeting new people. The downside of a separation is meeting new people.

Confusing? Easy to explain.

Meeting new people after splitting up sets one on a new path of self-discovery and self-recognition. For sure, there is some self-doubt as well (especially if one is the guilty party). At the same time there is scope for exploration. The road ahead looks pretty empty and the brain becomes a tabula-rasa-like vehicle for all kinds of ideas and thoughts to find lodgement in. The plus of a situation like this is that, untethered to a formal relationship, part of our core comes out. We become ourselves once again. Obviously, we are more mature and (I’d hope) wiser, so, our inner self is given a brand new stage on which to shine again. The minus is that some of the traits that might surface will not be ones we would like to be acquainted with again.

When they tell you in therapy that breaking up can end up being beneficial to both parties, they always forget to tell you that there is also an unwelcome consequence: the unintended creation of yet another memory bank. Another memory bank! As if the one you’re leaving behind (physical, spiritual and mental) were not enough.