Diary of a Separation (Hamster Wheels and Marathons)
How to create a closer relationship with oneself
Sunday 14th April 2019
On the train to Brighton on Friday I began to think how a separation forces us to “uncouple” (a phrase that could have easily come out of one of Gwyneth Paltrow’s “how to live a good and fulfilling life” wellness-centred manuals) from our previous persona. Our identities are made up of loose fragments that start cohering the moment we stop crawling and begin walking. An interest for playing the piano (as I had when I was little) doesn’t necessarily translate into a professional career as a musician. What it does do is to embed a love for learning. It also unlocks one’s creative power.
It’s the same in relationships. We establish markers for success very early in our unions. Common passions, similar goals and clear-cut objectives. Very often, though, reality turns out to be rather different. We climb onto a highly inviting hamster’s wheel without realising. And off we go. What was otherwise a dream-filled relationship becomes nothing more than a daily grind. Unsurprisingly, an “uncoupling” situation ensues.
With S, it was me who got on the wheel first, though. She was a reluctant participant. I wonder what she’d make of the wheel now that we’re both off it. In my…
