Diary of a Separation (Balance or Adventure?)

Can we have everything in a relationship? Or at least, almost everything?

Mario López-Goicoechea


Love for all, with all the accoutrement. Photo by the author

Tuesday 21st May 2019

One of the mind-boggling elements that define a relationship is the eternal contradiction between the consistency and stability we strive towards as a couple and the unpredictability and mystery we lust after. It’s ironic that on the one hand we dream of a safety net in our union and on the other hand we fantasise about diving into the deep unknown with just a snorkel and flippers.

Whilst cohabitation is not on the cards at the moment, I wonder if I would reconsider the idea, should the right woman come along. The rational part inside me feels secure in the knowledge that I can provide stability and intimacy in a relationship. The id-driven side is less convinced and wants to hold on to its satisfaction-governed relative freedom for the time being. I still want to be part of a monogamous set-up but I also want a space I can withdraw to without killing the vibe in my relationship.

Saturday 25th May 2019

One of London’s main attractions is its music scene. I’d already seen the Noga Ritter Quintet at Jam in the Jar last summer. Tonight I saw her again at Ninety Living Room, one of my usual hangouts.

I drove there rather than cycled. I’m saving my energy for the big haunt around the Big Smoke I’m planning for the Whitsun half-term.

Noga is one of those artists for whom the label “fusion” was created. She sings in Hebrew and English, incorporates rhythms from West Africa and Brazil and is not averse to throwing groove-powered dance moves on stage (and off it, too).

Sunday 26th May 2019

At the centre of “35 Shots of Rum” there is a beautiful father-daughter relationship. The main theme is the search for independence, not just from the daughter’s position (the one we tend to relate to straight away), but also from the dad’s. Visually poetic and brutal at the same time, this was a screening that more than justified my annual ICA membership fee.

Ao and I got back together. The reasons are too difficult to explain, even for a private diary…