Diary of a Separation
Metaphor-built vicious circles and the joy of CDs
Friday 29th March 2019
I woke up today thinking. Thinking about the loop. You know the one. The loop is the various patterns built over time in a relationship. They go around in circles, always locking themselves in. Eventually these patterns become the framework the couple lives in. The loop comprises both good and negative interactions. But when the latter outweighs the former, chaos ensues. For some reason, yet again! I find myself digging into my past. I’m aware that the effect will be beneficial in the long term. Something I need to come to terms with.
Little by little, I’m getting to the core of what happened between S and me and the reason why our marriage failed. It wasn’t just the “triggers” (domestic chores not attended to, children told off needlessly) but also and above all, needs and vulnerabilities not openly expressed. Needs not met and vulnerabilities not addressed.
Sometimes a dirty bathroom is a metaphor for a deeper issue. In relationships we could all do with a diving suit occasionally.
I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with the Bernie Grant Arts Centre, located in Tottenham, north London. Soft hate, though. The kind of hate that translates as love in reality, but belongs more in…
